Divorcing the Scale

Are you unhappily married to your scale? Do the two of you have irreconcilable differences?  Many are stuck in such unhappy marriages and see no way out.  The scale may not lie, but it is only one gauge of one's overall picture of health.  We might want to always change what we see on the scale, but what really needs to change, is our relationship with the scale.

Many men and women have long, dysfunctional histories with scales.  When they see what they want, the relationship is good, and when it reflects otherwise, the relationship is failing.  Worse, many attribute major life successes and spikes of happiness in accordance with being a particular scale weight.  Truth be told, spikes in happiness have very little to do with how much one sees on a scale and more to do with other factors going well in one's life. This may be hard to admit, but it is true.  Are you aware that skinny people also suffer from unhappiness? Yes, it is true!

Pounds are pounds, and are sort of a generic, blanket metric.  Pounds shown on a scale do not just tell us "how fat we are", they reflect much more.  Pounds also include skeletal and lean muscle mass, as well as water weight.  If you are a large frame person, or operate at the high-end of athleticism and are more muscular, then you will weigh more than the average joe.  If unable to quantify what exists within the pounds, then we should not be pinning life's worth and happiness to them either. 

If you weigh yourself every day, multiple times per day, or use the scale as a means to flog yourself regularly as a failure, then you are in an abusive scale relationship. Forget about what your grandmother and mother have said to you in the past about "just needing to lose a few pounds".  Consider that with some basic resistance training, a loss of inches could be even more satisfying than being a certain scale weight.  Looking better in clothes, wearing a smaller size or having more muscle definition can be every bit as rewarding as that ever elusive scale weight.

Exercisers, whether achieving weight loss or not, still stand to lower their cholesterol (specifically triglycerides), blood pressure, and increase lean muscle.  They will strengthen bones, joints and connective tissues.  They will also enjoy improved cardiovascular health, increased endurance, mobility and balance.  These are all important measurables that are not reflected in the pounds we are obsessing over on our scales.  So, is it time you filed for divorce?

Don't Finish Your Plate

Many of us grew up with parents that wouldn't let us leave the dinner table until our plates were finished.  Over the years, children have spent countless hours held hostage at the dinner table trying to force feed themselves last bites of "whatever" in an attempt to clean their plates and earn freedom away from the table.

As a health and fitness professional, I cannot tell you how harmful this parenting strategy has been to a number of clients I work with.  There are a couple of generations worth of individuals struggling with being overweight, and a large contributing factor to this is that they have become completely removed from intuitive eating habits.  If as children we are insisted to eat well beyond being full, and when food is no longer appetizing, then over time we become disconnected from our bodies, and eating becomes more of a job and responsibility. Eventually, important signals that convey we are getting full, or even becoming uncomfortable are ignored and a negative feedback loop is formed and well-reinforced.  This negative feedback loop conveys that it doesn't matter how we feel, we must push on through meals like war time soldiers or there will be negative consequences from authorities.  Ironically, the negative consequences incurred are weight gain and poor self-body image.

Habits and patterns laid down during our important, childhood formative years are serious and long-lasting.  Once we've disconnected our minds from our bodies, it is very hard to reconnect the two.  Unhealthy relationships with food and eating can be very damaging, and some of the hardest to get a handle on because eating is always necessary.  This is a very different scenario from an alcoholic's choice to quit drinking. Remove alcohol, no problem.  Remove food, you die.

Simply put, we must pay attention to our bodies and our bodies signals to us.  What are the signs and indicators you get when you are getting full?  Do you find your eating slows?  Do you find a tightness in your middle?  Pay attention to such things and try to leave a last bite or two on your plate.  Tell yourself it is ok to not finish, and do so guilt-free.  Explore the world of what feels right for your body, and find your way back to intuitive eating.  Reconnect with what your body needs, and disconnect from your unhealthy, childhood eating habits. Trust in the intelligence built into your body, and it will bestow upon you a new belief system about yourself and your relationship with food.  

Orthorexia Nervosa: The New Eating Disorder

The October 2010 edition of The Idea Fitness Journal for A.C.E. Certified Professionals had a very interesting article on this newly recognized eating disorder. In summary, this eating disorder involves an extreme amount of self-discipline with a feeling of superiority over others less disciplined.  Suffering  individuals are attracted to a restricted or complicated diet that leads to an imbalanced diet.  The imbalance is due to extreme restriction or elimination of major food components.

An interesting tidbit about my job is that not only do I have to understand who I can work with as a client, but I must also have solid grasp on who I cannot work with.  The scope of my practice is clear, but the history of the person I consult with may not be.  Eating disorders fall outside the scope of my practice, so proper screening is required.  This new eating disorder is intriguing to me as two things clearly differentiate this from other disorders like anorexia or bulimia.  Orthoexia Nervosa sufferers have no fear of weight gain.  Second, it is as equally pervasive among males as it is females.  There are, however, common similarities between this and the other more historically recognized disorders.  Please click on the link to read the complete article:  http://www.ideafit.com/fitness-library/orthorexia-nervosa-a-primer?sourcecode=ACEIFJ
One thing clear is that where moderation isn't involved in a lifestyle, the potential for trouble lurks.  This could mean excessive exercise, extreme dieting or relationships being adversely affected as a result of such extreme behavior(s).  Extreme behaviors do not lead to balance or optimal health.  If any of these behaviors sound like yours, please be open to discussing with your physician.  Efforts to embrace a healthier lifestyle can turn extreme and the desired objective of positive effects can be lost. 

Overcoming Unhealthy Thinking

As a fitness professional, I regularly encounter individuals that have carried unhealthy thinking, patterns and problems from childhood straight into adulthood. Such problems might include distorted body image, emotional eating, or hyperfocus on scale weight. Often, such individuals have been told by family members that they would look great if they could just lose 5 more lbs., or how good they would look if they hadn’t inherited the family thighs, rear end, etc. Others have weighed themselves multiple times a day for years and with every fluctuation of the scale, beaten themselves up over it. These behaviors are self-punishing and unproductive, yet very common. I strongly believe that there is much more surrounding weight loss and wellness that requires redirection of thought and elimination of negative self-talk.

I work hard to help my clients reframe how they look at their efforts in weight loss and exercise adherence. This is a challenge for me every day as old habits die hard and especially those that are deeply rooted. Sometimes I witness break-throughs, where I see new thought processes emerging, only to see old ones re-emerge a week later. The bottom line is that it takes six months to establish new behaviors. It takes real commitment to graduate into healthier, more balanced thinking. Old habits are not created overnight, and they shall not be undone overnight either.

In an effort to help my clients reframe how they view themselves and their efforts, I encourage them to do the following:

• Reward yourself to doing something right. Most people excel at beating themselves up when they experience failure, but no one rewards himself or herself for a job well done (especially women). If you eat better for a month, or exercise regularly for two weeks, then reward yourself for doing so…just don’t make it a food related reward.
• Look back (often) at where you started from to measure your success. Are you less fatigued walking up stairs or across a parking lot? Fitting better in your clothes? Sleeping better at night? Eliminated any small, nagging pains? Review your progress and celebrate victories along the way.
• Confront the people in your life that sabotage your fitness efforts and ask them for their help. Make them an ally instead of an enemy. Tell them that you are a "work in progress" and that you are doing the best you can and how they can help you do better.
• Embrace a healthy lifestyle and a new thought process that focuses on the long term. Do not decide to drop a few pounds or start exercising in order to fit into a bathing suit, look good for a high school reunion, etc. Events come and go, and then what? Do it because it is the right thing to do for your health today, tomorrow and beyond.
• Honor your emotions and try to process them versus "stuff" them down with food. Food is supposed to nourish and provide fullness, not to fill emotional voids. Try to sit with your feelings and process them to seek better understanding before running to food as an answer or consolation.
• Surround yourself with other people on a similar journey and share with each other what works and what doesn’t. Find someone as motivated as you, or more motivated and rally around each other. This helps build accountability and support.

In summary, there is a definite mental process that occurs with the physical and should be embraced every bit as much. A healthy lifestyle will include feeling good about one’s self, honoring one’s body, and being the best possible at any given age. These aspects far outweigh "scale weight" and add much more to the overall package of happiness and self-satisfaction. Also, remember that the act of "trying" is an important one, and that often we learn from failures when we experience them. So, embrace any failures along the way in your fitness journey as learning experiences and move on.